Pearls of Wisdom

Every day people come to me with problems for which they would like guidance. While the details vary from person to person, and situation to situation there are common themes that run through much of what ails us. The deeper questions, the questions beneath the questions are always the same: how can I be happy? How can I find peace? How can I have meaningful relationships with others? There are so many deeply important principles to live by, so many lessons to be learned in this life on Earth. Let me address a few here.

I) Devote your life to God, not glamour

Every day people go out, go to work, earn money and become more and more prosperous. Yet, at the end of the day, when they return home, they are not happy. At night, when they lie in bed to go to sleep, their hearts are not peaceful, their minds are not at ease. There seems to be no correlation between the amount of money we earn, the number of possessions we buy and our sense of inner peace. Yet, if you ask people what they most deeply want out of life, they will say "to be happy." How then can we find this happiness that appears so elusive? What is the true secret to internal peace and everlasting joy?

The secret is God and God alone. In India, in all villages there is a temple. I remember when I was growing up, and it is still mostly true today, that first thing in the morning, everyone would go to temple. Before beginning the day' s tasks, everyone went to the temple, did Pranam to God and took three parikramas (means walking in a circle around Bhagwan). The point of this was not merely ritual. Rather, theparikramas signified "God, I am about to go out and perform my worldly tasks, but let me always keep you in the center, let me remember that all work is for you." Then, they would take prasad -- from their tongues to their souls God' s sweetness would spread -- and they would leave.

In the evening, before returning home, once again, everyone went to the temple. "God, if during this day I have forgotton that you are the center of everything, please forgive me. Before I go home to my family, let me once again remember to whom my life is devoted."

This still occurs in almost every village, especially the small ones, every day. People in those small villages have very little in terms of material possessions. Most of them live below the Western standards of poverty. Yet, if you tell them they are poor, they won' t believe you, for in their opinion, they are not. This is because they have God at the center of their lives. Their homes may not have TV sets, but they all have small mandirs; the children may not know the words to the latest rock and roll song, but they know the words to Aarti; they may not have computers or fancy history text books, but they know the stories of the Ramayan and the Mahabharat and other holy scriptures; they may not begin their days with newspapers, but they begin with prayer.

If you go to these villages you may see what looks like poverty to you. But, if you look a little closer, you will see that these people have a light shining in their eyes and a glow on their faces and a song in their hearts that money can not buy.

So, what is the meaning of this? It means, acquire possessions if you want to. Earn money if you want to. There is nothing inherently wrong with being prosperous. It' s wonderful. But, remember what is truly important in life, and that is God. Only He can put the light in your eyes, the glow on your face and the song in your heart.

II) Giving is Living

There is an old adage that says, "it is better to give than to receive." Yet how many of us actually live by this? How many of us would give to another before taking for ourselves? It is not simple sacrifice I am talking about. Sacrifice implies some level of suffering. It implies that one is forsaking something one wants out of duty to another. While there is a great deal of spiritual value in the lessons of sacrifice, this is not what I am talking about. For, in true giving, there is no suffering. One does not forsake anything. The giving itself becomes its own reward. People talk about cycles of life. For me, the true cycle is: giving is living, living is learning, learning is knowing, knowing is growing, growing is giving and giving is living. This is the true cycle of life.

I have heard it said that "All that we have will some day be given away. Let us open our hearts and give with our hands so the joy of giving is ours and not our inheritors' " This is truly the message to live by. Embedded within this phrase are many important factors. The first is the fact that we can take nothing with us when we leave this Earth. We expend so much time, mental energy and physical energy to acquire material possessions. Yet, we come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing but the karma accrued from the lives we lived. Hence, we must re-evaluate the drastic measures we take and the stress we go through to acquire more and more. That which marks our life, that which lives on after we have departed is that which we gave while we lived.

The second important message in the above phrase is the idea of the "joy of giving." Giving truly is a joy. We think we will be happy if we get this or get that. But, that happiness is transient. Watch a child with a new toy, for this is a beautiful example of the happiness which is possible through material wealth. The first minute, the child is ecstatic. Nothing else matters in the world; he can barely contain his exuberance. Within a mere few minutes, you can see the child start to get a little bored. She looks around; what else does this toy do? Are there any other parts that came with it? Within a matter of hours the toy is lying behind the couch, and will only be picked up by the child' s mother or father in an attempt to either straighten the house or re-stimulate the child' s interest.

Yet, then when the child' s interest is completely faded, watch the child give this toy to a younger brother or sister. Watch how he/she loves showing what the toy can do, loves telling everyone that "I gave this toy," loves watching the sibling enjoy it.

Isn' t this how life is? The pleasure you get out of an old sweater or a dress you wore once or some mechanical appliance that you just "had to have," is minimal. Yet, take those clothes or appliances to a homeless shelter; donate them to someone in need. Then you will know real joy. The joy of having given to someone else. This is a joy that will last, it will stay with you, it will not fade, but rather will inspire you to give even more. So many times we regret having bought something. "Oh, why did I waste my money?" we say. Yet, I have never once heard anyone regret that they gave something to someone in need. I havenever heard anyone say, "Oh why didn' t I let that child go hungry?" or "Why did I help that charity?"

So, remember, old adages may have a great deal of meaning for today. "It is better to give than to receive" is one of those adages.

III) Leaving is always losing

So many times in life, when something is not going our way, we attempt to solve the problem by leaving the unsatisfactory situation. Sometimes this works, but usually it doesn' t.

The real lesson in life is to live with it, not to leave it. It is by living with situations that seem difficult that we can truly attain peace and non-attachment. It is in these circumstances that we learn that happiness can only come from God, not from one environment or another.

If you are with God, everywhere is Heaven, and you would never want to leave anywhere. You would see every place as an opportunity to learn, to grow or to serve. However, that is not how we typically live our lives. Rather, we say, "Oh this is Hell!" and we leave. Yet, if He is with you, how can you be in Hell? Hell is due to lack of Him. If the spiritual corner in your heart is not there, you will be cornered everywhere. So, the goal of life is to develop that spiritual corner, to be with Him, not to leave where you are.

IV) Be devoted on the inside, perfect on the outside

Your mind should be always with Him, yet your hands should be doing His work. People think that in order to be spiritual, or to "be with God" one must be sitting in lotus posture in the Himalayas. This is not the only way. In the Gita, Lord Krishna teaches about Karma Yoga, about serving God by doing your duty. It is the duty of a few saints to live in samadhi in the Himalayas. Their vibrations and the global effect of their sadhana is extraordinary. However, this is not what most people' s dharma is. We must engage ourselves in active, good service; that is truly the way to be with Him.

In one of our prayers, called Sita Ram, it says, "Mukha men ho Rama-nama, Rama-seva hatha men." This means, "Keep the name of the Lord on your lips and keep the service of the Lord in your hands." Let your inner world be filled with devotion to Him, and let your outer performance be filled with perfect work, perfect service. I once heard a story about a man who spent 40 years meditating so he could walk on water. He thought that if he could walk on water, then he had truly attained spiritual perfection, that he was then truly "one" with God. When I heard this story, I thought, why not spend 40 dollars instead, buy a boat to cross the water and spend the 40 years giving something to the world? That is the real purpose of life.

However, there must be both the devotion and the service. We can not develop one at the expense of the other. We can' t be truly perfect on the outside unless we are devoted on the inside, for only then will God' s work shine through us in a beautiful and perfect way. Similarly, we can not say we are truly devoted on the inside unless we are doing perfect work on the outside.

V) Three ways to attain a state of peace versus pieces

Today, so many people – especially the youth – say to me, "I'm stressed out," "I'm falling apart." I always ask them, "Do you want to be in peace or in pieces?" The choice is ours. If we choose peace, then the question is "how to do it?"

Let me give you a three part answer: meditation, no reaction and introspection.

a) Meditation: I always say that meditation is the best medication for all agitations. People have so many troubles today, mainly related to the stress in their lives. To address this anxiety, this sleeplessness, this inability to simply be content, they may take pills or fill their lives with excessive material "pleasures". For example, when people feel stressed they may attempt to forget about it by going to the movies, or by getting drunk or by indulging in simple sensual pleasures. Yet, these are not solutions. They do not address the underlying issues. They are simply band-aids to a wound that runs deep beneath the surface.

Yet, meditation will truly calm the mind, fill the heart with joy and bring peace to the soul. And the serenity and joy lasts throughout the day and throughout your life. Meditation is not like a simple diversion which works only as long as you are actively engaged in it. Meditation is not like a pill which quickly wears off and carries unpleasant side-effects. Rather, meditation brings you into contact with God; it changes the very nature of your being. It brings you -- immediately -- back to the world from which you truly come: the realm of the divine.

As you sit in meditation you will realize the insignificance of that which causes anxiety; you will realize the transient nature of all your troubles. You will realize the infinite joy and boundless peace that comes from God.

So many people avoid meditation though, because they "don't know how." Sure, there are many complex, esoteric and challenging meditation practices that some people learn. However, this is not what I' m talking about. Meditation can be as simple as sitting quietly, being with God. It can be as simple as following your breath in and out, in and out, as it enters and leaves your body. So, please do not avoid meditation because you have not been officially taught a fancy technique.

Just sit, cross legged, spine straight and close your eyes. Relax. Breathe deeply. Then focus all of your attention, all of your awareness on your breath, as it travels from your navel to your third eye (just between your eye-brows and a little above). Watch it ascend and descend. Feel the divine energy, the soft, peaceful vibrations entering your body, filling your body with light and joy. Then feel yourself be emptied of this air, let yourself surrender all the breath in your body back to God. And let that breath, that exhalation, carry all your worries, all your anxieties, all your fears, with it. Then, when the new breath comes, filled with divine serenity, there will be more room for it.

This is all you have to do now. But, do it. Make a time that is "meditation time." It' s okay if it' s only 5 minutes or 3 minutes. Don' t worry. Just do it. Do not say, "Well, I don' t have an hour to sit so I won' t bother." Commit 5 minutes to meditation each morning. Then you will see the magic of it.

No reaction: We must learn to be calmer in our lives. We must learn to remain still and unaffected by all that happens around us. I always say, "Be like the ocean. The waves come and go, but the ocean stays." Even a large rock, thrown from a great distance, with great force, will only cause temporary ripples in a small area. Most of the ocean will remain unaffected.

Yet, we are always jumping into the ocean, right into the waves, letting them carry us. This is our choice. We must learn, instead, to be like the ocean itself, unaffected by these small, transient things.

Yet it is difficult at times to be in the ocean and unaffected by the waves. At times like that we must avoid the ocean all together. We can sit, high on a beautiful cliff and watch the waves crashing down below. Then, we will remain unaffected. For, even the boundless, vastness of the ocean can not wash over the high mountains. Even the strongest wave can not drown those who are safe on high ground.

So many times we act as though we are the waves of the ocean. Up one minute, down the next, changed by every gust of wind, by every passing boat. Yet, we are not these waves. I am using the analogy of the waves of the ocean, but you must realize that the waves I am really talking about are the waves of anger, anxiety, jealousy, greed, and lust that are just as vast, just as strong and just as restless as the the waves of the sea. Will we sit on the cliff in meditation, watching the sunset, watching the waves crash on the rocks below? Or will we uncross our legs, lower our gaze from the light of the sun and throw ourselves into the depths of the sea? This is our choice.

Let us take whatever comes as prasad, as a gift from God. Let us not lose our vital energy in this constant action and reaction. Let us remain on the cliffs, watching the waves rather than allowing ourselves to be tossed about like pebbles in a stormy sea.

Introspection: So, in the morning we begin with meditation. All day we practice no reaction. And at night? Introspection. At the end of the day, a good businessman always checks his balance sheet: how much has he made, how much has he spent? Similarly, a good teacher reviews her students' test scores: how many passed, how many failed?

By looking at their successes and failures, they assess how well they are doing. Are the businessman' s profits greater than his losses? Are most of the teacher' s students passing the exams?

In the same way, each night, we must examine the balance sheet of our day: what were our successes, what were our failures. And for all the successes, all our "plus-points" we must give credit to God. For, we have truly done nothing but let Him work through us. All credit goes to Him. We can say, "Thank you, God, for bringing success to this venture," or "Thank you God for letting me truly make a difference in someone' s life today," or simply, "Thank you God for all that went well today."

Our failures, we must also give to him. The fault is ours, definitely. Yet, He is so forgiving and so compassionate that He insists we turn these over to Him as well. We must say, "God, please take these minus points. You know that I am weak, you know that I am nothing. See, see all my failures, all my minus points for even just one day. I can not go even one day without accumulating so many minus points. But, still you love me. Still you protect me from having the world see all my minus points. I am so weak, but you protect me." In this way, each night we check our balance sheet, and we pray to God to help us have fewer minus points, to make us stronger, to make us better hands doing his work, to give us more faith, more devotion.

These pearls I have given you are only a few. However, like any jewels, if they are pure and precious enough, they are priceless, regardless of the size. If you follow these and let them purify your life, they will bring you more prosperity than all the diamonds in the world.